The Next Great adventure
by demon sorcerer the grand
Summary: just when the fourth thought everything was lost...... he slips and falls on a old ass scroll..... wait what real shinigami?... soul society? wtf is going on in there Naruto/Harem oh and Super naruto god like naruto but humble
1. The Next Great Adventure

hey guys my new and very much improved 1st chapter

**The Next Great adventure**

A lush green gigantic forest where the birds chirp peacefully and the ninja make the birdies go bye bye with Justus. While in the middle of the large forested region is the village hidden in the leaves otherwise known as Konoha. The strongest village in the elemental nations.

"AH what a great day to be alive." sighed the man known as The Fourth Hokage.

'I almost finished my new jutsu swirly ball or as my know it all sensei would say **Rasengan**. Maybe I can teach Ku-Chan and then let her have at it with sensei... yes that would a fitting end swirly ball to... well the balls **MUHAHAHAHAHA**,' thought the obviously deranged man.

"well at least nothing can ruin my day today." he said as he preformed **Hari Jizo No Jutsu** and mentally counted.

' 3...2...1... huh noting happened usually Ku-Chan tries to come kill me for getting her pregnant or-.' he was cut off my a messenger barging into his office yelling to fast for him to understand.

"woah woah woah slow down ninja tell me what's going on," asked The Fourth Hokage.

"Sir I have bad news and worse news." replied the ninja.

"I don't have time to play games grunt tell me what has you so frazzled."

"well sir Kushina-sama has gone into labor and is demanding you to go see her so she can kill you."

"WHAT that's horrible I have to get out of here." yelled the panicking man, but when he tried to jump out the window a sudden tremor shook the great village.

"O and the Kyuubi no Kitsune is attacking," said the scared looking messenger.

"WHAT how the hell do you not tell me that in the first place." roared the furious Hokage.

"your wife scares me," he yelled while dashing out the office crying like a baby.

A giant red paw landed and crushed many of the once proud trees that protected the mightiest village in all the land, and made all the poor poor birdies go bye bye... O well.

"well now I'm screwed now I have to face one of the scariest demons in the world... And the Kyuubi." sighed The Fourth

" Man Ku-Chan is gonna really be mad when I don't pay attention to her." stressed the fourth Hokage as he looked over thousands of old musty scrolls in a tiny vault. Which was filled with copies of him running around like a madman in hopes of defeating a pissed of pregnant mom or Kyuubi.

The fourth furiously racked his brain on what to do and when he finally was going to give up and just use the suicide jutsu **Shiki Fuujin No Jutsu**. When he slipped and fell on what looked like some rolled up tree bark?

"what the hell is that," the fourth wondered.

"well I hope it's something to help me because I'm about to die by my wife's hand or by the big fox and I sure would like to see something that could help me or at least something sexy" he muttered under his breath.

Many would not in their wildest dreams think that a man with enough prestigeas the Yellow Flash because of his technique "The Flying Thunder God," (which was more or less a teleportation jutsu like the Body Flicker jutsu no jutsu) which helped him take down battalions upon battalions of Iwa shinobi was a huge perv. In fact he likes pride him self on being the main character for his sensei's book which was his and Ku-Chan's doing he might add if Kushina wasn't in 10 miles of his person. So as an act of hopeless desperation for some type of peace he opens the bark.

(AN the bold is the scroll)

**To the current Hokage**

**I am ****Hashimara Senju otherwise known as the first Hokage and if in some way you are in dire need to help protect Konoha then this scroll has found you for a reason, and if you aren't and you somehow got your hands on this scroll then I will have to ask you to pour some chakra into the scroll after all it's not some cheap porn.**

"Awe man" he muttered/pouted as he channeled some chakra into the scroll.

**There now my scroll has decided to you are not some horny teenager it will tell you the secret of my power to controlling the mighty bijuu**"... This is awesome" he shouted like a certain spandex wearing kid who just so happened to find the store which sells is fashion style.

'but I'm a realist and my wonderful village won't be ready for a reminder of what they have lost, What to do, What to do I guess I have to read on and find out what I can do for my boy'

"maybe I can use this to my advantage ether way I look at it I'm going to die so I might as well make my baby boy into what every human on the face of the world wants to be sex magnet to the opposite sex **MUHAHAHAHAHAHA**" which by this time he was practically screaming about it which promoted weird looks from the fleeing villagers passing by.

**When I was traveling as a young spry man of 25, I came across and very old cave, and I being a typical curious young man went in to look around. While the strangest thing happened I was practicing one my jutsu when I sneezed, and there was this big flash, and I was somehow transported to another dimension where I came across an old guy fighting what looked like a snake with eight heads with an evil looking mask on each head so I being the smart brave warrior charged in the save the old man... boy was I a dumb ass two minutes into the battle I was knocked out and thrown to the side like a rag doll. When I woke up the snake was gone and the old man was in critical condition about to die there was blood EVERYWHERE so I did the first thing that came to mind, scream like a helpless school girl who just saw her first d. And I probably shouldn't write down that I also ran over him probably giving a cross shaped scar on his forehead and I certainly didn't do it twice so I won't put it in no way no how...I regress after I calmed down I grew all the medical plants I knew of and shoved them down his throat which by the way I can do because I'm so awesome while other jealous people cough Madara cough say it's a blood line but that's just the ramblings of a jealous person. When the old geezer woke up he told me his name was ****Yamamoto and he was thankful for the help and he even gave me the really cool and very manly looking crystal as gratitude so we got to talking and I find out that he is training to create a society of something I dunno I wasn't paying attention but he said he would someday repay me he just didn't know how yet as I was about to shout about more power I suddenly I got this really cold but oddly neutral vibe that made me almost shit my self. I turned around ever so slowly and saw THE Shinigami I mean the fucking death god coming toward me and before I could do something incredibly stupid with my really cool tree growing powers I was pushed back through the tunnel by a worried looking Yamamoto and before I fell all the he said he called this place the Soul Society which in my opinion is really gay... then the flash of light and I woke up to the same cave I entered. when I tried to do the messed up jutsu again... it failed horribly all it did was make a hilt of a sword which I gave to my brother...**

"I think I just found the solution to all my problems" the Fourth said as he just tossed the tree bark back where it came from not even bothering to read he rest thinking of a way to alter the **Shiki Fuujin No Jutsu.**

AN: well I just finished the new and improved TNGA tell me how y'all think so REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW don't make me say the magical words... I love you you love me we're all a family ... now do it or ill continue


	2. shinigami in real life

**_A/N by the way from now on I will only update every 10 to 20 reviews)_ **

**The Next Great Adventure: Shinigami In Real Life**

"Hold the beast until the fourth gets here" some random shinobi who's name must be captain obvious, yelled out. **_(A/N I mean is it really necessary to yell something everybody knows to do anyway.)_**

"Yes the forth is here, he is going to save us all." yelled the same no name guy.

"Why thanks guy." the Fourth said before he hopped off on his giant toad, with his precious cargo tucked safely in his white coat never hearing the him say,

"But my name is yuzzf sworbeye." But the eccentric hulk I mean cool guy in greeen. Quickly shut up when the fourth began to pour killing intent in hopes of stalling the mighty beast, while also forming handsigns.

'Damn this better work for the sake of tit- I mean for the sake of Konoha and my baby boy yea that's what I'm aiming for.' Meanwhile all the chakra he was expelling was swirling around him in a vertex or what could be a blue fiery inferno. " The flames of youth" the awe struck Hulk muttered remembering what an old guy named Maito said about when in great times of need, the mighty flames that only the youngsters could get up, came to your assistance. And did I mention that this wise mystic was also selling green spandex...

Minato went through a series of hand seals,' Snake, Boar, Sheep, Rabbit, Dog, Rat, Bird...'**_(A/N completely random no clue if its right or not)_**

'My son better have love me for what I'm about to do.' With that thought in mind, he shouted "HORSE! SHIKI FUJIN! (Dead Demon Consuming Seal)," and he stood there counting down ' 5...4...3...2...1...' intake of breath

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH," he screamed until he was blue in the face.

'Huh guess I should run now.' Before he should haul ass out of there suddenly felt the chilling but neutral presence of the Shinigami behind him.

'Hey just like he scroll said.' He thought while looking behind himself. Minato saw the Shinigami's demonic reaper form.

**"Tell me _Human_ why shouldn't I tear you limb from limb heal you and start over again until your mind gives out from pain overload." **Questioned the very calm god.

"Please sir-" he was cut off.

**"What makes you assume I am male," **asked the slightly irritated god.

"Ok then mam-" cut off again.

**"you see that is the problem with you humans you think that mightier beings such as the Kyubi and myself are like you, no mortal we do not have a _gender_ we just are just call me by the name you _humans_ have given me,"** the god all but demanded.

"I want to make a deal O Master of death, ruler of that which is cool." said the now bowing Hokage.

"**Speak _Human_ least you try my patience."** Hating the way the fourth was kissing his ass.

"I want to ask no I plea with you, please your mightiness seal this beast into my child take him away from my village never to come out." said the Fourth.

**"You have just dammed your son for all of his life you _Human_"** said the god with his voice slightly risen.

"I wasn't finished," said the foolish but brave man.

"I've read about a place where you all mighty one once resided and if you have been there then surely you can get there again," the Fourth half stated half hoped.

**"Of course I could but I see no reason for me to send your son there," **Shinigami stated

"H...how did you know," asked the astonished man.

**"I am a God"** as if that explained everything.

"Right I need to have my son be the strongest you must send him there," yelled the Hokage.

**"Ah so your true colors show very well then _Human_ I will do as you ask ,just be warned this youngling will not be your son any more he will be a child of power he will go through the worst kind of pain imaginable, but he will be strength and power for it. And if he is not up for the task he will not only die but cease to exist , he will be cursed for a sin a did not commit but he is still to be cursed for the simple sin of existance" **explained the god.

" Please I must do this I need to anything for him to my strong. Give him power which unfortunately he would not receive here a place where he would only be stunted," the man grimly replied.

And with that final saying, Shinigami suddenly morphs into a giant yellow covered ninja that looked pretty cool. Took out a chain and said **" Get over here."**to Kyubi who was screaming in a way that could be considered oddly feminine, into the little bundle the forth had presented to the god.

Thus creating the container to the nine tailed fox.

**_( A/N I really wanted to end it here but I had this part already finished.)_**

A swirling Vortex of bright white light opened up in the sky, and slowly descended on the little baby while the very much flabbergasted ninja could only watch as the light took the bundle away.

As a young boy Isshin Kurosaki had always dreamed of being a big shinigami of to Gotei. As one of the first to join the academy his dream has finally come true that and 226 long years he has finally done it he was a captain of one of the Gotei's squad to boot.

"Damn I'm strong" thought the newly instated captain,' I can't believe that I killed my predecessor' Isshin thought looking a little sad.

(flashback no jutsu: HA A/n ha means a jutsu/kido is done)

"_Isshin Kurosaki," said the unknown figure._

_"I always knew it would be you to come and TRY and take my position. Well lets get this over with boy after all you will never defeat me without a bankai" while he yelled "BANKAI" a swirling mass of blue reiatsu formed around the captain._

"F_eh that what you think you weirdo freak BANKAI" yelled out Isshin while a orange mass of reiatsu formed around him and strangely smelling of strawberries..._

"_Cheeky," he switched the huge blade in his hand so it was in a basic stance that pointed out behind him as if he was going to dash at Isshin. _

_"Ha I knew it you are a freak with a freak stance I would never let my son be a freak or unmanly like you," Isshin yelled like a someone who was truly homophobic. **(A/N guilty as charged)**_

"D_o you even have a son," the captain asked in a condescending type a way as if he were speaking to a retard._

"_...No... but I will he will be manly now enough talk fight," and charged. _

_Captain raised an amused eyebrow but tensed in his stance as he watched Isshin advance on him in a frenzied rage, but with oddly calculated steps._

_' I wonder if he will truly beat me,' wondered the captain. _

_but he had no more time to think as Isshin swiped his own massive blade at his face, which the Capt. promptly ducked under. But with a speed only a captain could have swung his massive blade around mid-air and bringing it directly down on the spot the Capt. was standing on. __Sidestepping the powerful vertical swipe, idly noticing how it created several large cracks in the metal when it made contact, the captain moved with the precision and grace and thrust his blade right at Isshin's chest. __The captain then pivoted on his left foot and spun in that direction to dodge the wild swing sent by Isshin to his face, forcing himself to reveal his back to him for a split second. It was a swing that could make the leaning tower of pizza not only sit straight but lean in the other direction to and with a huge hole in it as well he was pushed back from the force of the blow._

_'Damn I think he just broke a bone or 3', thought the Capt._

_As he finished his spin, Capt. swung his blade in a backhanded fashion towards Isshin's face; the sharp edge promising to cleave his head in two from the nose... had it connected. The unbelievably powerful Isshin in his bankai form ducked low and rose quickly to perform an uppercut with his left hand, one that almost separated his head from his body if it weren't for his zanpukto which had several cracks in it._

_'Impossible no mere punch can break my blade he will pay for that.' The captain thought as he dropped low and performed a sweep kick, hoping to catch him as he was in motion, but he was quickly forced to hop into the air to avoid the man's huge blade. Isshin, After completing the motions for his uppercut, he used the inertia that his body had created to swing his heavy blade along the outside of his body and bring it back down towards his captains ankles._

_As he was recovering from the unbelievably quick and powerful maneuver, Capt. lunged at him with three vicious and quick attacks. The first a rapid swipe from left to right at her chest, the second a downward sweep from his head down to his waist and then accompanied by a forward lunge, meant to be a piercing thrust to his heart. Isshin expertly used the fat sides of his blade to parry the three quick __strikes._

_And before the captain could regain his footing, Isshin lunged forwards but instead of striking with his blade, he used his left foot to kick out his captain's feet from underneath him with a kick so powerful it caused him to spin away from him and land on the floor with a sickening crack, face up with Isshin's blade right through his chest._

_'Well now that really sucks,' sighed the tired captain._

"_So," he sounded out of breath "you finally win," he said while grinning widely, something Isshin had picked up on that meant his kid would be in for a messed up night if he wasn't gonna die_

"_Yea so long freak" whispered Isshin_

_(Flashback no jutsu: KAI)_

"O well he was an real freak and not in the good way. Anyways I think he had a son named may or uri or urimay or some bitch boy name anyway forget it's not my problem" Isshin said to himself while watching the starlit night sky.

When he started to think of his Bankai and how he got it he was startled, when out of nowhere he hears a voice.

" **ISSHIN KUROSAKI,"** a scary voice said.

"w..ww..ww...wwwwho.i..i..iii.iis... THERE," he finally yelled out.

"**You know who it is,"** stated the scary voice.

'wait a minute I know this voice,' thought Isshin.

'I got it this voice helped me get my bankai.' concluded Isshin while slamming his fist into his hand.

" **Yes it is I and I'm here to call upon that favor"** said scary voice

"yyy.yyou ccc.cc..caaa..aa...nnnnn r.r...r..rr..e...e.e...e...ea.a.aa...add...ddd...d my-" but he was cut of.

"**silence I will talk and you will listen little man in a few short minutes a baby will appear before you and you WILL take care of him and make him the strongest ever,"** said scary voice.

"WWWWHHHHAAATTTTTTT," yelled Isshin.

"You can't just expect me to raise a son to be the greatest I mean I'm a brand new captain and it took me 235 years including the time I spent building up my sprit energy provided i am the third captain to exist ever-" his conversation was sniped in the head my the voice.

"**Yes I can and it will be done or you and every one you hold dear dies"** and in a bight flash of bright Black light the voice's "presence" was gone and in it's place was a little baby with a curious swirl of a tattoo.

"O hell I am so screwed right now what am I supposed to do I don't know how to take care of a baby GET BACK HERE SCARY VOICE AND TAKE YOUR BABY TO," well the combination of the light and Isshin's voice the baby woke up screaming bloody murder. That made Isshin stop running around like a father who just found out that his son was gay...

His face softened up when he picked up the baby rocking him slowly until he fell asleep again.

"heh guess I'm stuck with you huh well I guess it can't be helped you with become great," he then noticed the tattoo on his stomach " Kurosaki Naruto"

**_(Omake)_**

"Finally it is over," but not for the forth just as he was about to die. He sees Orochimaru coming toward him with a lot of droll coming out of his mouth "Kami it's me minato..." whispered the frantic man.

"If you could please save my VIRGIN ass I would be very thankful" **'HA that is what you get as if Shini could ever be my equal' **as he watched the almost dead man see his fate. And if it had been under different circumstances, he would have smashed his balls with a spork until a fine liqiud came out rather then let Orochimaru near him.

But alas all he could do now in this situation was give a sidelong glance to the idiot who was now saying some thing about "maito guy" 'what a douche' and with that dieing thought he died with a fuck load of tears making there way down his face, never knowing what he unleashed upon the world in the form of the green beast or how when he gets summoned from shinigami's belly why he walks with a gimp...

**Check out my profile for the polls**

**_(A/N and also I know i didn't name the scary voice's name but who care's don't bother me with that question now REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW don't make me say the magical words... I love you yea and I know poor minato but I really wanted a reason as on how snake-teme got his body so I made one up so I hope you like or don't totally hate me. And I know his name is spelled gai but look at it this way he the forth was just calling the random dude praising him guy so yea... o and by the way if you can find out where I got gai's original name tell me in a review so REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW don't make me say the magical words... I love you you love me we're all a family ... now do it or I'll continue)_**


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